I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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