Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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