sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize