booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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