No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
