You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
