my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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