I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
