hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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