I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
