I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
