We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
