One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
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btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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