FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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