It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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