I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
