well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
