I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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