we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My liver is preforming stress tests.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
