My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can text with my tongue
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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