found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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