Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize