She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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