she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
