Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
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