We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
