I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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