there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
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There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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