did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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