do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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