so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
