I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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