you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
