Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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