yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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