i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
