I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
In America we eat man semen.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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