I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.