Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me