how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
