Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7

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  (419): Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7 http://tfl.nu/z3hr
  Replies (47) Good night (9979) Bad night (704)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.

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  (507): So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there. http://tfl.nu/r47h
  Replies (10) Good night (5933) Bad night (789)
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  (530): View more from California

  you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"

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  (530): you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars" http://tfl.nu/ujcf
  Replies (7) Good night (5019) Bad night (1138)
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  (626): View more from California

  HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?

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  (626): HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN? http://tfl.nu/rsqz
  Replies (51) Good night (6193) Bad night (2363)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left

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  (217): The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left http://tfl.nu/fjkf
  Replies (15) Good night (2397) Bad night (1192)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.

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  (612): She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/b3pk
  Replies (18) Good night (1066) Bad night (1459)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot

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  (810): Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot http://tfl.nu/f236
  Replies (5) Good night (1987) Bad night (794)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen

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  (502): You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen http://tfl.nu/i11i
  Replies (13) Good night (1472) Bad night (538)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself

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  (920): hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself http://tfl.nu/vx7o
  Replies (8) Good night (1107) Bad night (500)
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  (716): View more from New York

  please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.

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  (716): please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this. http://tfl.nu/hb6a
  Replies (1) Good night (856) Bad night (422)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."

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  (570): You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG." http://tfl.nu/j0ai
  Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (372)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.

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  (501): When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot. http://tfl.nu/as5j
  Replies (1) Good night (1096) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.

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  (804): We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell. http://tfl.nu/sxed
  Replies (7) Good night (480) Bad night (774)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over

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  (870): I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over http://tfl.nu/8h30
  Replies (0) Good night (598) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans

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  (206): I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans http://tfl.nu/fx44
  Replies (0) Good night (368) Bad night (185)

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