benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
