Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

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  (615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked. http://tfl.nu/g4y8
  Replies (45) Good night (1599) Bad night (9576)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.

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  (401): like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY. http://tfl.nu/lkyy
  Replies (9) Good night (1122) Bad night (5058)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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  (224): I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am http://tfl.nu/o84u
  Replies (4) Good night (4948) Bad night (1047)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  My grandma had to be escorted out by police.

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  (765): My grandma had to be escorted out by police. http://tfl.nu/ipgw
  Replies (18) Good night (6955) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.

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  (248): Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch. http://tfl.nu/snc7
  Replies (10) Good night (4728) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again

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  (443): booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again http://tfl.nu/1mb1
  Replies (13) Good night (6360) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Beer Popsicles are better in theory

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  (903): Beer Popsicles are better in theory http://tfl.nu/iyrx
  Replies (9) Good night (2036) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg

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  (612): I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg http://tfl.nu/y2s5
  Replies (3) Good night (1775) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?

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  (609): What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion? http://tfl.nu/x6xu
  Replies (6) Good night (566) Bad night (1930)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake

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  (610): We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake http://tfl.nu/df0e
  Replies (9) Good night (2388) Bad night (634)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...

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  (440): Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits... http://tfl.nu/u2u5
  Replies (3) Good night (921) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.

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  (908): She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass. http://tfl.nu/vr1h
  Replies (12) Good night (2889) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

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  (336): Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning http://tfl.nu/no2z
  Replies (5) Good night (1455) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.

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  (802): I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny. http://tfl.nu/ndpa
  Replies (4) Good night (470) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.

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  (256): It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with. http://tfl.nu/jivo
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (534)

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