never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
