I'm going to rape someone's good day.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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