He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize