I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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