i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
