I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
