he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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