Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
