so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
