The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
