Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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