just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
