i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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