i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
