oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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