exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
