tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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