He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
