Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
