I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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