If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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