its not stalking. its research.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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